For Whose Eyes Only?

There’s a problem in my office. With the cleaning supply room bathroom that staff uses. For some reason everybody just can’t wait to get into this room. So much so that no one EVER knocks and waits. One day, Papa G (“seasoned” male co-worker) spoke to me in an agitated tone. He said “Can we do something about the staff bathroom? Can we get a sign or something? That says knock before entering? Cause I’m tired of people walking in on me, SHIT!” I nodded and said okay, anything just to appease him so I could laugh my ass off out of his face. And I did. Work week over. Monday morning, the sign was up and Papa G was appreciative. He then jokes about the different instances he’s been walked in on, by whom and how many times. Papa G has one of those old grandpa/deacon voices so anything he says sounds funny. But anyway, we both continued to laugh. But what I was really doing was laughing my ass out. The days rolled by and it’s now Thursday. I close out my projects, grab my purse and coat to head to the door. Then I realize it’s  not a good idea to drive on a full bladder. So I rush to the chemical storage room staff bathroom. You need a key to open it, but once inside you can’t lock it from the inside. So I literally have to tackle the door to make sure that it can’t just be pushed open. I’ll spare you the details about my bathroom procedure, but you’ve seen that episode of The Tyra Banks Show. I heard the lock move. I yell “Someone’s in here”. Then, the door opens and I’m like WTF. I wasn’t even finished and in the door is my co-worker Bubba (middle-aged white dude). In this situation most people would have closed the door immediately after sensing someone in the restroom. What’s worse than having a coworker walk in on you in the restroom? HAVING TO TELL HIM TO CLOSE THE DOOR 😐 What a pervert! Door closes. I laughed  out of embarrassment and then I realized what happened. I became furious and he did right to avoid me. I grabbed my things again to clock out and here comes a student apologizing on Bubba’s behalf because it was he that rushed Bubba to get the bleach out the storage closet causing him to not read the sign and thus not knock on the door and wait for an answer. Then here comes Bubba with his hands in the air like “my bad”. So the next morning, I tell Papa G and Keke about the incident and he laughs and asked “Did he close the door slowly?” Ha ha ha. To make matters worse, Bubba has had his work schedule changed to mornings effective immediately. So now I have to see this perv for my whole work day. Moral of the story, make sure you lotion daily.

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