Lifestyle: I love that I have a routine during week and free time on the weekends. It gives me something consistent to look forward to and free time for me to chill or be spontaneous. I love my hometown, but I feel boxed in. I hate that I don’t have my own and that my activities aren’t more diverse.
Work: I’m glad that I have a job to begin with. There are so many people who have families and because of the
selfish, greedy, rich wealth seekers economy they can’t provide for them. I get to make a positive difference in the lives of adolescents. I’d do that for free. It is disappointing when clients aren’t ready for change; I understand that not everyone wants to be saved. I do not work in the capacity I would like to work in. I don’t like being limited to administrative projects. I want to do it all, to be a part of a treatment team and make programmatic decisions. The program I work with now has a lot of potential, but it’s very stressful. It’s lacks space, resources, knowledgeable staff, and structure. In short, I’m overworked, over qualified, and underpaid.
Education: I’m a student of life. I love that I graduated college. I love that I never contemplated changing my major. There are so many skills I want to learn, but I’m limited because of my lifestyle and finances. I hate that I didn’t push myself harder. I hate that I procrastinated and was not as focused as I should have been. I would have liked study at a different institution at some point, preferably a HBCU.
Finances: I have money coming in and I have not touched my savings. I don’t have to rely on anyone to have my basic needs met. However, the money coming in is not enough. I hate my income-to-debt ratio. I hate that I haven’t managed money properly in the past and now I’m literally paying for it. Oh, how I have learned!
Health: I’m in sound mind and I’m in good health. I desire to be more spiritual. What I don’t like is not being able to get a good night’s sleep, not feeling rested and my body fat percentage. I’m currently investigating how much of that is in my control. Wish I was consistent with nutrition and exercise. In a nutshell, I literally and figuratively feel like I’m trapped in a clear box on stage in front of an audience. I feel like I’ve been fighting with weights on, trying to get out of the box. I’m exhausted.
Family: I have good relationships with my parents and sister. I was raised well and I’m grateful for that. I feel loved and respected by all my family. I’m ready to start a family, but I’m not ready, ready. I’m not stable enough. I don’t have all the things needed to start a family. What do I hate? – That some of my family have chosen to live their lives in ways that burden others. That some of my family take on some much of others’ burdens that it becomes them. They are consumed by it. However, I’ve accepted that I can’t change them and perhaps I can lead by example.
Relationships: I’ve established lasting relationships with good, supportive, goal-oriented people with a sense of humor, common interests and outlook on life. Others, I haven’t and I battle with it. I can’t let it go. I hate that I wasted valuable time, resources, and energy in situations where I should have just kept it moving.
In spite, I am blessed. Life is good.